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Separation difficulties can happen with any child at any time during their preschool years. Whether this is your child's first preschool experience or a mid-year crisis, you have probably tried everything, including a few special treats, but he/she will not be convinced that preschool is the place where they should be. It is very important that you are ready for the separation, also. If you are anxious about your child starting preschool, they will pick up on that anxiety.
Drop-off routine to the rescue!
Whether this is your child's first school experience or a new phase, these meltdowns are difficult for everyone involved. What do you do when your child refuses to say goodbye and happily trot off to a busy day at preschool? What you need is a "drop off routine." Children like routines because they provide a sense of security. Just as a good bedtime routine helps in the evening hours, a consistent drop- off routine will help you at preschool. Creating the drop-off routine should involve your child's teacher. Select a series of steps that you will take every day when you and your child arrive at preschool. The goal is not to delay the inevitable, but to ritualize the goodbye. The predictability may help your child remain calm as the "goodbye" approaches.
Keep it simple!
Your routine could be as simple as helping your child hang up his coat, reading two books in the reading corner and then waving goodbye at the door. Or you could decide to watch your child color a picture and take it with you when you depart. The routine can change over time and eventually you might not even need one. A drop-off routine will not always keep your child from crying, especially at first. Some children cry for days or even weeks before they adjust. Once you have finished the activities in your routine, you may need the teacher's reassuring arms to help your child as you leave. Helping children with separation is a large part of a preschool teacher's job. Often the teacher is more effective at calming down your child after the dreaded goodbye has passed. Believe your child's teacher when she says that your little one only cried for ten minutes or so.
Some simple steps for separation!
There are other simple steps that can help your child adjust to the separation. Leave a family photo in your child's cubby. Show your child that you trust and like his teacher with a happy greeting in the morning. Provide your child with an opportunity to talk about his feelings, but do not dwell on the issue. Try to relax and believe that this problem will pass. Before you know it you will be hearing "but I said I don't want to go home!"
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